Can We Choose to Fall Out of Love?

“I had the opportunity to better understand love – even the compulsive parts. It isn’t a neat symmetrical Valentine’s heart. It’s bodily, it’s systemic, it’s a hideous pair of Rams horns buried somewhere deep within your skull [caudate] and when that special boy walks by it lights up! And if he likes you back, and you make each other happy then you fan the flames… and if he doesn’t, then you assemble a team of neuroscientists to snuff them out by force.”

One of the best presented psychological talks… by singer and rapper Dessa.

Mary Oliver

9.10.1935 – 1.17.2019

All through my Reno trip I stopped at every bookstore that came across my way. After a couple visits, I kept noticing front sections on Mary Oliver – had she come out with another collection? The last I read was Dog Songs... and that had been years ago. No… I’d come to learn she’d finally passed.

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Aside from her probably most cited poem (above), I loved how she captured a single, present moment in her work – juxtaposing her inner voice with the external world around her, finding some simple example of nature as a voice for what we often find inexplicable in our own hearts and minds.

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Still one of my favorite poems by Mary Oliver

What I love most in her work is the ability to acknowledge our own personal turmoil with the beautiful world that refuses to yield to it – and the willingness to invite and accept both into our reality. Some of my favorites from her…

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I’ve been pouring over my own favorites form her the past few days for some inspiration. Thought I would post them for my morning and to share a few good words to jumpstart the rest of the week, and the end of a (long) month!! ❤ 🙂


This song means a lot, not just because its message has become an anthem of sorts, but it was the first song that Nathan shared with me in our first nights we spent together. He’d seen Gavin James summer debut in London opening for Sam Smith, and his performance stuck with him. It was also the first time I realized that underneath his stoic exterior, Nathan was actually a romantic sap :P.

For You was the major single from Gavin’s debut album Bitter Pill, which wouldn’t come out until later that November. So, we started when the song started too. I’m waiting for the day when Gavin James bursts away from the background and into the larger scene…

These short years have passed by fast, even though the days seem like forever. As always: To your annoying optimism, unwavering ambition, your steady hand, and your full heart every day.

For anyone else in the ether feeling romantic today, here is a 1-hr Spotify playlist that hits every romantic chord, for me at least 🙂



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